Moving Sucks a/k/a Living in NYC Ain’t Easy
My family loves living in New York City. That said, our lives are constantly contorted by the fact that we live in this alternately weird and fascinating place. This is exemplified by our different living situations over the past 12 years or so. We owned a nice loft in the West Village, need more space, wanted to combine units and tried to work out a deal. We made a highly attractive offer to a neighbor who was prepared to move but wanted to constantly extort more money from us. No go. So we moved.
We then did a renovation of a place in the Central Village. Took a year of our life, a lot of planning and a nice chunk of cash to create a really special living situation. We loved it and would still be there right now if not for an absolutely horrid neighbor who didn’t appreciate my childrens’ existence. Most New Yorkers understand that by living here, you are not entitled to live in tomb-like silence. People walk. Kids play. Music plays. This couple, a childless couple in their 50s from down south, didn’t feel that way. So they chose to torment us so much that after a year we decided to leave. Life is too short to have that kind of stress on an everyday basis. Constantly telling our kids to quiet down, sit down, essentially, not to be kids. Wrong. We decide to sell the place and buy another place, this time in West Chelsea. A project. A big, big project.
We rented back in our old West Village neighborhood for what we expected was 12-18 months. Well, we are moving out next Thursday after nearly three years. And during the renovation of the new (well, it is actually an 1846 landmark building) place we had countless unforeseen problems, disputes with one of our neighbors that subsequently led to litigation, crumbling walls, flaky subcontractors, skyrocketing commodities prices, power-hungry Landmarks inspectors, prior permits that had never been received and needed to be gotten before work could start, etc. You just can’t make this stuff up. Tom Hanks’ depiction of such problems in The Money Pit doesn’t begin to approach what we’ve dealt with. Oh, well. That’s truly life in the big City.
So after all this we have the privilege of going through three years of accumulated junk in our apartment, not to mention going through all those boxes we had stored on an “interim” basis. And worse, we’ve gotten really attached to our interim place. It has great views, is close to the kids’ school and where they play sports. And to think, if the person in our first place had only been cool we’d still be living around the corner right now. What we’ve experienced is New York in a microcosm. It just happens. You need to roll with it or get the hell out. And we’re staying.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Wayne Mulligan
EMAIL: wayne@tickerhound.com
URL: http://insanewayne.blogspot.com
DATE: 03/22/2008 05:54:08 PM
Damn, that sounds like a brutal few years…New place sounds like it could be amazing nonetheless…post some pictures when you get a chance, I’m sure plenty of readers would love to see the new digs.
-W
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Dave
EMAIL: frieddave@gmail.com
URL:
DATE: 03/22/2008 08:15:43 PM
The notion that other people have to suffer your kids is a presumptuous one. This is why many co-ops refuse to grant entry to otherwise qualified buyers with young children.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Roger
EMAIL: roger@informationarbitrage.com
URL: http://www.informationarbitrage.com
DATE: 03/22/2008 08:43:35 PM
Dave, what you call presumptuous I call being human. And there is a difference between “suffering” someone else’s kids and exhibiting a modicum of tolerance and understanding. Rude people with kids who don’t give a crap how people feel, ok, I buy that. That was not us. We lived next to a couple of a**holes who shouldn’t have been able to call themselves New York denizens. IMHO if you going to live in NYC you are signing up for a few inconveniences that are the ticket to play the game. And the benefits for putting up with such stuff are tremendous. You don’t want kids - move to Palm Beach.
Roger
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: archer
EMAIL: archermartin@mac.com
URL:
DATE: 03/23/2008 12:48:39 AM
Everyone in NYC has a renovation-from-hell story, mine was a bit different than the norm that everything minimally under my control (architect, contractors, getting approvals) went like clockwork, but my building (small coop that had never been through a renovation) was horrid and incompetent. I could go on and on, but one incident will do.
My contractors were neat, always done at the appointed hour, but a board member lived above me and was home much of the day, so he was out for revenge.
He re-did his terrace, which was partly over my apartment, First big storm, it leaks into my new renovation. And I don’t mean a little leak either, I mean pouring across an entire 23 foot wall.
The building refused to force him to re-do the terrace; he was permitted to attempt to patch (and I still got downpours) until I threatened to sue.
I moved shortly thereafter.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Rich
EMAIL: rcaccappolo@gmail.com
URL:
DATE: 03/23/2008 09:19:09 AM
It comes down to the people - we have had 2 different neighbors in the apartment next to ours. The first constantly complained about the noise our kids would make. The second insists that they rarely hear them and they claim they really don’t mind it when they do. Luck of the draw…
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AUTHOR: Jason Wood
EMAIL: jbwood83@optonline.net
URL: http://woodrow.typepad.com
DATE: 03/24/2008 03:36:02 PM
Roger, I remember when we met you talked of the renovation and how it was long in the tooth. That was 1.5 years ago. Wow. Glad to hear the issues have FINALLY worked themselves out.
It may be a cliche, but perhaps the adage about good things coming to those who wait applies here.
Best,
Jason
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Roger
EMAIL: dgundlac@hotmail.com
URL:
DATE: 03/25/2008 11:06:15 PM
Roger, been reading your blog and find it interesting. I find your comments about your frustration with your neighbor disappointing. You seem like a bright guy and I am sure like a lot of the rest of us you are, but think about it. Move out to Westchester (Rye or Harrison) and bring your kids up were they can go out and run in the back yard and chase butterflies that are free (not like the ones in NYC that can’t believe they ended up in such a hell hole (that is from a butterflies perspective anyhow, unless they got luck enough to live in one of the calm nice parts of central park). Thing is if you were young and single (again) and in a different head space, it might not be such a stretch to see it from the old couples perspective - regardless of them being aholes…there are plenty of couples of all ages (without kids) who do not want to be bothered with incessant ‘noise’ as that is how its experienced in some peoples heads, even if exaggerated, the pitter patter of the little ones feet (Hey reminds me I need to listen to my old Squeeze albums)…Anyhow, people in general were not meant to live in places that had stranges (read: neighbors) on the other side of the wall. You need at least 20ft and some grass between walls. Listen, you sound like you’ve had a fairly successful work life, and once again another example of someone with money who still can’t be happy for only the reason they want the people around them to change. Move to Westchester, or Charlotte (or just visit for the weekend to get some separation from NYC stress. No one should have to be stressed in the place they choose as their home. I’ll keep reading your blog for yet another person’s view on the good things that enable people to make good livings but then blow it cause of greed and not wanting to’time’ when and if the string the kites tied to is actually tied around it tube or not. By the time you find out it might be too late and the kite to high to do anything about.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Roger
EMAIL: roger@informationarbitrage.com
URL: http://www.informationarbitrage.com
DATE: 03/25/2008 11:18:34 PM
Roger, your comment is truly surreal. Don’t purport to know me, my motives, my family or the reasons for my decisions. What you say is fine for you; keep it that way.
NYC happens to be a terrific place to raise a family, notwithstanding some of the BS that goes along with it. And the fact that my family lives here has nothing to do with greed - quite the opposite; the rational economic decision would be to get the hell out. But that is not the trade-off either my wife or my children want to make.
The exposure they get on a daily basis to people having different perspectives, ethnicities, financial means, religious beliefs, family structures, hopes and dreams makes them well-equipped to function in the increasingly diverse world. They are incredibly active, play sports (outside, no less) every season, my wife and I coach their teams and we are deeply involved in the community. And yes, we do take them out of the city to experience the other side of life.
But don’t sit there pitying us. Sure, intolerant neighbors are a hang-up of mine. But mine is a blessed life, principally due to love and family, and regardless of where I live I’ve got all I need within my home.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Unity Stoakes
EMAIL: unity@organizedwisdom.com
URL: http://organizedwisdom.com
DATE: 03/26/2008 12:17:28 AM
Roger,
Congrats on finally getting into your new home. And thanks for preserving another landmark building in the city. They are falling fast, so I’m glad there are people willing to make the effort to restore them back to life and make them welcome to families.
I must say I don’t envy the moving part though. Be well and speak soon,
Unity Stoakes
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