Living Life the Right Way?
This time of year is a time filled with much introspection and reflection. The Jewish New Year. Yom Kippur. The new school year. And more than in years past, I find my thoughts turning towards my own mortality, the way I’ve chosen to live my life and to question and ponder if I’ve made, and continue to make, sound choices for myself, my family and those whose lives I touch. Because, quite frankly, I am about one of the luckiest people on earth yet find stress, angst and frustration plentiful parts of my day-to-day life. Trying to do too much. Trying to take on everything that comes my way. Yet sometimes forgetting to dig the process and the people and instead getting locked-in to a task-oriented, execute, execute, execute mind-set. Not good.
This year I’ve had a friend, a peer, die from an awful strain of cancer. I’ve had another friend, a peer, diagnosed with early-stage Parkinson’s. Both with wonderful, loving spouses. Both with beautiful, happy, healthy children. And then I look at my blessed life, my stresses, my angst, and weigh it against the lot of my two close friends, and I feel like I need a wake-up call, or some healthy dose of perspective given the whirlwind of life. Speaking for myself, I find it so easy to get caught up in the intensity and complexity of New York living. It’s great much of the time, don’t get me wrong. But it plays into the “gotta do this/gotta do that/gotta rush/gotta hop/drop off kids/go to meeting/make phone calls/do 300 emails” nutso routine, especially if you are a Type A freak like me. If I let it. This is the time of year to take a big step back, assess, and figure out what changes you want to make and make them. And make them stick. Because while I can make resolutions and atone for crappy stuff I’ve said or done, the proof is in how I live my life. And some changes need to be made.
I read one of the most touching and instructive stories I’ve seen in this vein in today’s Wall Street Journal. The story was based on a speech titled How to Achieve Your Childhood Dreams given two days ago by a beloved Computer Science professor at Carnegie-Mellon University. The speech happened to be part of a “Last Lecture” series, where top professors give talks as if it is the last lecture they are going to give, ever. The strange thing about this particular speech is that the speaker, 46-year old Randy Pausch, is going to die of pancreatic cancer within the next two months. A loving wife. Three young children. And an outlook so positive it makes me embarrassed to even contemplate the kind of bullshit that irks me day in, day out. There is a four-minute video with highlights of his talk that is a must-watch. Professor Pausch is an extremely dynamic, engaging speaker, and his subject matter couldn’t be more relevant to what has been on my mind that past few weeks:
Flashing his rejection letters on the screen, he talked about setbacks in his career, repeating: “Brick walls are there for a reason. They let us prove how badly we want things.” He encouraged us to be patient with others. “Wait long enough, and people will surprise and impress you.” After showing photos of his childhood bedroom, decorated with mathematical notations he’d drawn on the walls, he said: “If your kids want to paint their bedrooms, as a favor to me, let ‘em do it.”
A few other notable quotes from his talk:
- “Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want”
- “What would you say if it was your last chance to say it?” [This would be instructive and informative not only for those whom you are speaking to but for yourself]
- “This is not about how to achieve your dreams, but how to live your life”
From reading the WSJ story and listening to Professor Pausch’s words, I take away some key nuggets that I will attempt to imprint on my brain in order to adopt a better, healthier, more peaceful outlook on life:
- Be patient with others
- Be persistent in pursuing your goals
- Dig creativity in yourself and in others
- Turn the struggle into a positive learning experience
- Maintain perspective by testing your mind-set
And tomorrow I pray and I atone. This was some pretty good prep work, to be sure.
